He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
