I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize