she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
