oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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