The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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