I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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