before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
