You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
