problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
