Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
