Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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