get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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