i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
PANTIES FOUND
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