I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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