We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
