Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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