too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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