walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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