I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
