youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
