wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
NoShamevember. You game?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
