Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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