she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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