No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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