The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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