how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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