Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
