Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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