Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
