Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Welp...herpes.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
