Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
now i know why i became what i already was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize