I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize