what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So here I am, sexting at work.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
