There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
