Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
