dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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