After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
