I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
