just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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