I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wish there were birth control emojis
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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