guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My pussy is not your playground.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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