I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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