I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
