i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
