you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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