im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?