he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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