I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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