Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
