Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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