There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize