I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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