At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
