When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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