There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
