At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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