She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
