I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
