Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
