Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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